I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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