You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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