people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
