So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
