This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
