imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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