There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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