I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
