the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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