I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We don't watch enough power rangers
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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