I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
