I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
