I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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