whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
