Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize