if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
