i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
