craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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