Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
