So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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