I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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