Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
