sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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