Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
