Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
