I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
