U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
