If that was your dad, he is hot
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
