Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize