you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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