Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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