You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
