How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
