Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
