Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Randomize