My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize