What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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