Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
