I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
