Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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