so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
third nipple confirmed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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