No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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