Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
