Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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