Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The ass gains better be worth it
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