S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize