we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
