he shaved USA in his pubs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
