but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize