yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
