I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize