Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dear god my vagina.
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