You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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