Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
