Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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