WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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