i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I FOUND THE LEGS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
