I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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